Monica's Secret Closet

3am hits

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If I could paint everything I just thought about in the last 20mins I could probably paint our whole fucking house. My brain is on streak again. But I’m not saying this is a bad thing. It’s a good kind of overthinking actually. Literally. Overthinking. I thought about wanting to go back training with my sport. I was a brown belt in taekwondo and I miss kicking people (slightly a joke) I also thought about my dog Pablo which hasn’t been with me because he’s on vacation getting fat during this quarantine. I miss him. I thought about blueberry cheesecakes. I love and miss eating them. I thought about my make-over plan to my dorm when I go back to it. I listed the things that I wanted to do in my head. Like a fucking robot. Now my head hurts.

All I’m saying is help me I wanna sleep. Can’t I just continue thinking while I sleep? It’s bothering me that I’m still fully awake at 3 am thinking about so much things. I miss weed because it makes me sleep nicely. And when I say nicely I mean a really reaaallly good sleep. I sleep like a baby when I’m stoned. Maybe I’ll just close my eyes. Hah! Like I didn’t do that. I did all the possible things I could do to help me fall asleep but all I get is a yawn. I drank milk like an infant, masturbated like a queen, counted until I lost count, watched tv like anyone–I love Orange is The New Black and I love Natasha Lyonne she’s the realest. I’ve been on this bed since 11pm and to think that it has been 4 hours makes me wanna go just cry my eyes out until they get tired and then I can finally fall asleep. But unlucky me my hormones are okay and I’m not feeling too emotional because my red days are still far from today. Have you watched that episode on How I Met Your Mother which says “Nothing good happens after 2am”? Tell me about it.

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