Hello, there. I hope you are doing fine. 🙂
There are three possible things you can do when you encounter a situation. You can either change it, leave it, or accept it.
This Monday, let’s talk about one principle of mindfulness: acceptance.
Acceptance is such a BIG word, you might say. Sometimes, people commonly find acceptance as a hard thing to do. It’s the mindfulness principle we all seem to struggle with because it is quite hard to practice.
If you’ve read my second mindful practice journal entry, you will know that I struggle with acceptance too. We keep thinking that when we accept something, we must take it all in. It’s like eating the food that we hate so much!
I have learned that mindfulness always teaches us to focus on the now. But what if you are having a hard time accepting what’s happening now? May it be an emotion or a situation. How can we really accept the things that happen to us?
Here are a few steps you can do to help you understand and find acceptance in everything that you feel, and all those things currently taking place around you.
Acceptance, isn’t necessarily about you. It isn’t like swallowing your pride and allowing it to take over you. For example, you find it hard to accept that your friend did not comply your expectations. Along with that situation is your emotion.
Maybe you feel betrayed, disappointed, or angry. Although we have tackled how to avoid becoming too emotionally involved, or how our emotions can negatively affect us, understanding acceptance is quite different. Acceptance is about that specific emotion.
Focus on that and on how your body carries that emotion. Do not yet focus on you and your ability to overcome. Don’t set your mind into expecting something to happen faster, like maybe getting over that emotion.
Acceptance takes place now
This means that you must not dwell on what happened in the past, and neither expect something to happen at once. Your friend already did a mistake, and you felt disappointed. Ask yourself, what now?
If you, for example, keep fighting with each other, or if you keep ignoring your friend, remember that it only creates distress. If you keep on rejecting what’s happening now, and you still remain your attention on what happened, this doesn’t help you find acceptance.
Give it some space
It doesn’t mean that you have to get in terms of what’s currently happening to you. This only means that you have to allow that emotion or situation to be there. Give it some space in you, and don’t resist what you currently feel. Don’t even try to change what you feel. Rather, become aware of that specific feeling.
Understand that it exists
You have to understand that this emotion is existing right now and that it will eventually go. If it helps, try to also understand why you feel that way. Being honest with yourself helps you understand why you feel the things you feel. Take a step back and look at everything from a different view. Say to yourself that this is what you feel right now.
Acknowledge that emotion
Don’t turn your mind away from what you feel. Instead, note it. Identify that emotion and give it some power to exist. If you deny that you feel that way, it simply implies that you are resisting yourself towards moving forward. How can you move on when you don’t want to acknowledge how you feel?
Give that emotion some acknowledgment, and do not discredit what you feel because we are human. Denial is not helpful too. We feel what we feel, and we can’t stop it. We can only try to understand and make the most out of it.
Be Patient With Yourself
Yeah, all of this might seem easier said than done. So, this is why you have to have patience. More importantly, when your emotions are heavier ones like grief, sadness, or depression. It will take longer days to finally learn to accept those emotions. So, let all those come and address them mindfully.
Give yourself some time to think and analyze all of it, and respond to those with compassion and understanding.
All things, good or bad, come and go.
— Elle | Unpopular Opinions (@Unpopularblogs) July 20, 2020
Taking these steps one by one will surely help you understand how acceptance really works. Have you ever had that moment in your life when you find it so hard to take-in what’s happening? What steps did you take? We’re you able to comprehend what acceptance really means?
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For more Mindfulness entries, click here.
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