I’m very excited to share with you this new post. A lot of us are working our way off to become independent men and women (while low-key looking for the perfect relationship), and that’s okay! Getting up for ourselves should be our number one priority.
While we go on a lot of dating apps, meet-ups, or maybe simple get-to-knows, how do we know if we are with the right person? What are the signs that say you shouldn’t date that person?
Are you familiar with the words Red Flag? Red flag is an idiomatic term widely known as a sign that a particular issue must be addressed. Its use is often relationship-based.
Want to know which red flags say that you are leading yourself to a toxic relationship? Read on, and these signs should help you along the way.
Having an unsupportive special someone is such a hassle, especially when you two are still getting to know each other, and you’re the type who wants to do a lot of things with or without them.
Although maybe having a conversation about why the other person can’t support you presents a solution, it is still not a good trait to tolerate. There will come a time when you will want to do other things you are passionate about, like maybe baking, selling online, or simply getting that dream job.
It’s hard to go through a problem with all of these without getting support. You will need some eventually, and finding someone who supports you all the way is worth it.
Someone who invalidates your feelings and emotions is a huge no-no! All of us, guys and gals, shouldn’t be told otherwise about our feelings. Why? It has an impact on our confidence and emotional health.
Dr. Jamie Long explains in her blog that invalidation is one of the most adverse types of emotional abuse.
Also, invalidation tends to be an inadvertent behavior many of us don’t realize we do. It seems that we are also unknowingly doing it, even before this matter was heard on the internet. Read more of her post to know which things to say and not to say to avoid invalidating someone.
Doesn’t Give You Space
Someone who doesn’t give you space only means that they don’t care that much about your boundaries. And, most probably, people who do this are self-centered, and you don’t want to be around with someone like that.
Whether on simple matters like doing things on your own or with your friends, having control over your phone or personal belongings, you have to understand that you need your space for personal growth too. Find someone who understands you when you ask for your space. And in return, you must give them theirs too.
Opposes Your Views
You can notice this trait early in the getting-to-know part of your relationship. Sometimes it starts out as a subtle joke or an opinion. And when you do, you will immediately realize you won’t click together. To clear things out, this is someone who easily opposes what you say every time.
This can be annoying when developed regularly, and particularly when he/she often steps on your beliefs or principles. It then gets more difficult when they start to insist on their views too. You may likely have lots of fights in the long run.
Even though a few arguments or contrasting conversations are healthy in a relationship, you can say that it only gets worse if you two weren’t to come up with an agreement or at least an understanding with each other in the end.
If someone underestimates you, it can also mean that they don’t have that much confidence in you. It sucks, yeah, but some people don’t notice this beforehand. Well, to be fair, it is very hard to distinguish because they don’t usually admit these things, but you can see it through their actions.
How can you say that someone is underestimating you?
- People who do not have confidence in you do not support what you do– they think that you can’t get the job done.
- They don’t say it, but sometimes they disapprove of your ways. They may also think that their way is better than yours.
- Sometimes, they get the job done for you.
- They don’t trust you handling certain things. Maybe as simple as remembering to feed the dog or doing groceries by yourself.
- They are frequently unsatisfied with your efforts–they will always think of something better than your way. Or maybe, think of something to criticize your effort or action.
Women are more likely to be underestimated in their workplace, or family, and it happens in relationships too. Be sure that someone you date will be confident and proud of you no matter what.
A manipulative person can be damaging for your mental health, so this is another one on the list. There are other types of manipulation, but relationships often encounter psychological and emotional manipulations.
Manipulations are like tricks, usually via influence that someone does discreetly or says to you, to achieve full control over your actions at your expense. It can be identified in many schemes, and some are more commonly known as guilt trips, negative surprises, negging, gaslighting, emotional blackmail, silent treatment, and peer pressure.
There can be many ways on how your special someone can manipulate you without you even knowing. As a result, you might end up being unhappy because you can’t seem to do or decide things on your own, so you better watch out for this!
Doesn’t Take No For An Answer
Don’t you think it’s hard to keep up with people who don’t take no for an answer? Having a partner means that you understand each other’s limits, and you respect them for it.
This can be noticeable during your first days together. If your special someone has become very persistent in asking you to do one thing you’re not comfortable doing, or maybe insisting on having the final say in your relationship and not considering your choice, this could mean that a very unhealthy relationship is coming your way.
It is important to have your own opinion if you want to build a relationship with someone and to make sure that you won’t lose it once you enter that relationship.
The thing is, you won’t meet a perfect person, or have a perfect relationship; just someone perfect for you who probably has minor issues. If you feel like you are already in this type of unhealthy relationship or if you still plan to be with someone (which I hope not) who exhibits these signs, there’s still time to make things right! These signs can stop occurring with proper communication and healthy resolutions of issues. A person can change and improve along the way.
Just make sure to know your limits on whether you should still push through or not. It is better to get out of a toxic relationship earlier before things could get complicated for both of you, and you end up regretting it.
Have you experienced one of these signs with someone? What steps did you take? If you have been part of an unhealthy relationship before, what have you learned from it? Care to share some thoughts? Comment down below!
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