I am so delighted to share with you this long-awaited collaboration with one of my favorite bloggers, Ashley of Beautiful Disaster Lit blog. Ashley is one of the most authentic and badass bloggers I truthfully admire, and who writes strongly about what she believes in. Do check out her blog here!

Smoking to some local strain, and listening to Lauv’s I Like Me Better this night, I am writing about Finding Yourself.

To tell you honestly, I got nothing at first. Then one day, during this one meditation period, I kind of surprisingly asked myself “What is my purpose?” Believe it or not, this one question got me typing this whole post for weeks.

Aristotle says, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Knowing who we are, what we’re here for, is undeniably one of the significant factors that primarily drive us to get up every day and manage to do the things we ought to do.

I’ve even read this good article that suggests finding yourself is an “unselfish process”, despite mistakenly relating it to selfishness or self-indulgence, that serves as the purpose of everything we do in life.

Well, this seems like such a big deal which can greatly affect our lives, so why don’t we learn more about it as we go along, shall we? We hope this post gives you a different, more profound understanding of what finding oneself means. We wish that in the time needed you will again remind yourself about this.

What does it mean about “Finding Yourself”

I remember watching Eat. Pray. Love. A film starring Julia Roberts. In this film, she travels the world in search of her, I guess, “true purpose” in life. Her friends didn’t know exactly what she wanted and neither did she at first.

And yeah, it’s kind of hard to explain to someone how you wake up and feel nothing. How you feel like you don’t really know why you get up for the day, not even for yourself or for anyone else either.

Lastly, it’s hard to explain the reason why you’re lacking those things; your full involvement, commitment, and passion in everything you do in life

Elizabeth Gilbert felt like the path laid out to her in life was not what she really wanted, and so she went to travel the world to hopefully get some answers.

It’s kind of weird when you say you have to find yourself because, well, you’re here. You were never lost. Sometimes we just forget who we are. On other days, we forget to even think about who we are.

People were always goal-oriented. We focus more on who we want to be when we grow up rather than focusing on who we really are right now.

That’s why when we grow up, it’s kind of like the question that makes us go, “Oh shi*t!” and we realize we have absolutely no clue about it. Well, there’s no need to panic. It’s one question one can’t really answer in 3 to 5 sentences. But we hope that this blog post can. *wink*

I think not all people know what discovering one’s self fully means and the depths of where it would take us. Not all realize that we will go a long way in life when we know who we are, what we desire, and what we can offer. 

What Finding Oneself Means To Me

I’ve learned that finding yourself isn’t just a simple question with a simple answer. It’s a continuous journey of learning and unlearning; a discovery story of yourself that involves a lot of essential keys in life such as acceptance, compassion, and introspection. A process of self-awareness, self-discovery, and self-purpose.

In an article, Erika Martinez, a psychologist, says, “I see [finding yourself] as cultivating a deep understanding of yourself—what’s important to you, what motivates you, why you respond and react as you do, and your values.” Additionally, she says that finding oneself is the same as accepting who you have become as a person, which manifests as a peaceful feeling with yourself.

• Related Post: A Mindful Approach To Understand Acceptance

This journey comes, of course, with time and effort. 

I personally see finding yourself means returning back to who you truly are, alone, defying all cultural standards, beliefs, and your own limits of thoughts including that voice in your head that tells you you can’t do it. Finding yourself is your unlearning of things. Emancipation.

Letting go of unhelpful behaviors, ideas, and dogma that do not anymore reflect your purpose and principles. It’s your true self behind your doubts and regrets. 

• Related Post: 8 Unhealthy Habits To Break If You Want To Appreciate Life

Finding yourself is remembering yourself when you’ve made mistakes–remembering that you are not your mistakes, more importantly. It’s the continuous anchoring of yourself to your soul– to your purpose.

Finding yourself is also learning who you want to be and what your values are in life. Establishing new and better habits while letting go of old unnecessary ones.

To put it simply, who you are is a complex of things. A lot of things. You are a handful, my friend. Everyone is. If you want to know about it, maybe you can start by recognizing who you are not.

Why finding yourself is important

Humans are ever-changing. You are ever-changing. It’s impossible to continuously grow and still remember all our roots along the process. One way or another, we forget some along the way. We forget who we are. 

Refreshers are needed from time to time, deep contemplations, and self-assessments. It’s important that we constantly make an effort to remember our purpose and what we believe in life. Without it, we’re basically Julia Roberts crying on the floor in the middle of the night.

• Related Post: Here’s Why Self-reflections Are Good For Your Development

It’s important because regret is everything–It takes up our whole life. Although people learn more about themselves as they grow up, we don’t want to be one of those who thought were living their lives fully, only to realize that something’s missing.

We don’t want to stay ignorant about this matter if we know we could be better. It’s the reason why we should take some time aside in our lives– no matter how busy we are and drowned with problems– to do ways that help us with our self-discovery journey.

Eventually, things will fall into place and you can go a long way once you’ve learned your full potential as a being. A state where you are confident with who you are, what you can do, and what you believe in.

• Related Post: How To Mindfully Deal With Setbacks in Life

Ashley will share with you some helpful ways or tips that you can do if you ever want to decide and unshackle your true purpose as a being.

I am smoking local favorite No Label Farms Wedding Crasher, as I compile tonight’s articles. First, I need to clarify, I am NOT an expert on finding oneself, I am still fucking figuring shit out, but I think it’s extremely important. Who wants to live life every day, hating themselves? We literally spend the most time with ourselves.

Tips On Finding Yourself

Find stuff that you enjoy doing alone. If you’re not sure what it is, try new things until you do, but make it something productive. I say this because me being on an online dating site, or scrolling mindlessly through Facebook for hours are not things that add to my quality of life.

Reading, writing, being active, & spending time with Daughter & my other people are some things I am doing to replace toxic habits. People more talented than I, have done crafty things, crochet, art, or found a hobby to enjoy.

I believe that being able to like doing something alone, you won’t get stuck in your own head and you can find out who you really are. Maybe, you’re not an anxious overthinker like I am and don’t have to worry about being stuck in your own head. You can appreciate your alone time, but can also find other like-minded individuals to enjoy spending time with.

On the other hand, find your triggers. Find what upsets you or who pisses you off and AVOID IT!!!

I know, easier said than done.

Knowing what adds to the good and how to avoid or work with the bad, is pertinent to finding yourself. Sometimes I get anxious, especially around people I don’t know.

I try to have one of my people nearby, smoke, or even step away by myself for a little bit, so that I can find my calm. Knowing that when I see my depression demon surface, I need to reach out to people who love me and not try to “tough it out” or else, it just ends up worse.

Now, I have learned that if I get angry or upset, it is best for me to step away from the situation & come back when I’m more level headed.

Being aware of these things is crucial in finding yourself, that way you can make the good times fucking awesome & the bad times are only a tiny bump in the road.

Benefits You Can Achieve, When You Find Yourself

• BEING HAPPIER
• Knowing who you are and what you’ll allow, or not
• Having the confidence to speak your truth, regardless of others
• You’re not worried about losing someone that doesn’t add some type of positivity to your life.
• You know what you’re good at & what you want to work on.
• You already know the type of person you want to be& you’re working toward the end game.
• Your happiness and confidence radiates to those around you and can be contagious
• Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely
• You only spend time with good people & you are strong enough to cut out the bad
• You’re not toxic to others
• Others enjoy your company
• You know you’re being a good influence to those looking up to you
• Most importantly you are able to become the best version of YOU. Beautiful, Unique, & Powerful You.

I have pretty much covered what finding myself means to me, in the other parts of my article. It’s definitely consciously doing the work DAILY, making progress little by little. Some days, you just have to make it to the next. Some days you’re 100% genuine & you are proud of the person you are.

You are important and you need to see it in the way that those who love you see it. You need to love yourself the way you needed love as a kid.

There you have it! I am very much thankful for Ashley, she’s one amazing woman and blogger you should follow. She has such real writing and musings about her life. Please follow her Facebook Page and support her local clothing!

What are your thoughts about finding yourself? Do you also see this as a meaningful journey that can help you in different ways? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

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