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Collaborations and Guest Posts,  Life and Happiness,  Well-Being

Finding Yourself: An Essential Journey To Self-Discovery

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I am so delighted to share with you this long-awaited collaboration with one of my favorite bloggers, Ashley of Beautiful Disaster Lit blog. Ashley is one of the most authentic and badass bloggers I truthfully admire, and who writes strongly about what she believes in. Do check out her blog here!

Smoking to some local strain, and listening to Lauv’s I Like Me Better this night, I am writing about Finding Yourself.

To tell you honestly, I got nothing at first. Then one day, during this one meditation period, I kind of surprisingly asked myself “What is my purpose?” Believe it or not, this one question got me typing this whole post for weeks.

Aristotle says, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Knowing who we are, what we’re here for, is undeniably one of the significant factors that primarily drive us to get up every day and manage to do the things we ought to do.

I’ve even read this good article that suggests finding yourself is an “unselfish process”, despite mistakenly relating it to selfishness or self-indulgence, that serves as the purpose of everything we do in life.

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Well, this seems like such a big deal which can greatly affect our lives, so why don’t we learn more about it as we go along, shall we? We hope this post gives you a different, more profound understanding of what finding oneself means. We wish that in the time needed you will again remind yourself about this.

What does it mean about “Finding Yourself”

I remember watching Eat. Pray. Love. A film starring Julia Roberts. In this film, she travels the world in search of her, I guess, “true purpose” in life. Her friends didn’t know exactly what she wanted and neither did she at first.

And yeah, it’s kind of hard to explain to someone how you wake up and feel nothing. How you feel like you don’t really know why you get up for the day, not even for yourself or for anyone else either.

Lastly, it’s hard to explain the reason why you’re lacking those things; your full involvement, commitment, and passion in everything you do in life

Elizabeth Gilbert felt like the path laid out to her in life was not what she really wanted, and so she went to travel the world to hopefully get some answers.

It’s kind of weird when you say you have to find yourself because, well, you’re here. You were never lost. Sometimes we just forget who we are. On other days, we forget to even think about who we are.

People were always goal-oriented. We focus more on who we want to be when we grow up rather than focusing on who we really are right now.

That’s why when we grow up, it’s kind of like the question that makes us go, “Oh shi*t!” and we realize we have absolutely no clue about it. Well, there’s no need to panic. It’s one question one can’t really answer in 3 to 5 sentences. But we hope that this blog post can. *wink*

I think not all people know what discovering one’s self fully means and the depths of where it would take us. Not all realize that we will go a long way in life when we know who we are, what we desire, and what we can offer. 

What Finding Oneself Means To Me

I’ve learned that finding yourself isn’t just a simple question with a simple answer. It’s a continuous journey of learning and unlearning; a discovery story of yourself that involves a lot of essential keys in life such as acceptance, compassion, and introspection. A process of self-awareness, self-discovery, and self-purpose.

In an article, Erika Martinez, a psychologist, says, “I see [finding yourself] as cultivating a deep understanding of yourself—what’s important to you, what motivates you, why you respond and react as you do, and your values.” Additionally, she says that finding oneself is the same as accepting who you have become as a person, which manifests as a peaceful feeling with yourself.

This journey comes, of course, with time and effort. 

I personally see finding yourself means returning back to who you truly are, alone, defying all cultural standards, beliefs, and your own limits of thoughts including that voice in your head that tells you you can’t do it. Finding yourself is your unlearning of things. Emancipation.

Letting go of unhelpful behaviors, ideas, and dogma that do not anymore reflect your purpose and principles. It’s your true self behind your doubts and regrets. 

Finding yourself is remembering yourself when you’ve made mistakes–remembering that you are not your mistakes, more importantly. It’s the continuous anchoring of yourself to your soul– to your purpose.

Finding yourself is also learning who you want to be and what your values are in life. Establishing new and better habits while letting go of old unnecessary ones.

To put it simply, who you are is a complex of things. A lot of things. You are a handful, my friend. Everyone is. If you want to know about it, maybe you can start by recognizing who you are not.

Why finding yourself is important

Humans are ever-changing. You are ever-changing. It’s impossible to continuously grow and still remember all our roots along the process. One way or another, we forget some along the way. We forget who we are. 

Refreshers are needed from time to time, deep contemplations, and self-assessments. It’s important that we constantly make an effort to remember our purpose and what we believe in life. Without it, we’re basically Julia Roberts crying on the floor in the middle of the night.

It’s important because regret is everything–It takes up our whole life. Although people learn more about themselves as they grow up, we don’t want to be one of those who thought were living their lives fully, only to realize that something’s missing.

We don’t want to stay ignorant about this matter if we know we could be better. It’s the reason why we should take some time aside in our lives– no matter how busy we are and drowned with problems– to do ways that help us with our self-discovery journey.

Eventually, things will fall into place and you can go a long way once you’ve learned your full potential as a being. A state where you are confident with who you are, what you can do, and what you believe in.

Ashley will share with you some helpful ways or tips that you can do if you ever want to decide and unshackle your true purpose as a being.

I am smoking local favorite No Label Farms Wedding Crasher, as I compile tonight’s articles. First, I need to clarify, I am NOT an expert on finding oneself, I am still fucking figuring shit out, but I think it’s extremely important. Who wants to live life every day, hating themselves? We literally spend the most time with ourselves.

Tips On Finding Yourself

Find stuff that you enjoy doing alone. If you’re not sure what it is, try new things until you do, but make it something productive. I say this because me being on an online dating site, or scrolling mindlessly through Facebook for hours are not things that add to my quality of life.

Reading, writing, being active, & spending time with Daughter & my other people are some things I am doing to replace toxic habits. People more talented than I, have done crafty things, crochet, art, or found a hobby to enjoy.

I believe that being able to like doing something alone, you won’t get stuck in your own head and you can find out who you really are. Maybe, you’re not an anxious overthinker like I am and don’t have to worry about being stuck in your own head. You can appreciate your alone time, but can also find other like-minded individuals to enjoy spending time with.

On the other hand, find your triggers. Find what upsets you or who pisses you off and AVOID IT!!!

I know, easier said than done.

Knowing what adds to the good and how to avoid or work with the bad, is pertinent to finding yourself. Sometimes I get anxious, especially around people I don’t know.

I try to have one of my people nearby, smoke, or even step away by myself for a little bit, so that I can find my calm. Knowing that when I see my depression demon surface, I need to reach out to people who love me and not try to “tough it out” or else, it just ends up worse.

Now, I have learned that if I get angry or upset, it is best for me to step away from the situation & come back when I’m more level headed.

Being aware of these things is crucial in finding yourself, that way you can make the good times fucking awesome & the bad times are only a tiny bump in the road.

Benefits You Can Achieve, When You Find Yourself

  • BEING HAPPIER
  • Knowing who you are and what you’ll allow, or not
  • Having the confidence to speak your truth, regardless of others
  • You’re not worried about losing someone that doesn’t add some type of positivity to your life.
  • You know what you’re good at & what you want to work on.
  • You already know the type of person you want to be& you’re working toward the end game.
  • Your happiness and confidence radiates to those around you and can be contagious
  • Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely
  • You only spend time with good people & you are strong enough to cut out the bad
  • You’re not toxic to others
  • Others enjoy your company
  • You know you’re being a good influence to those looking up to you
  • Most importantly you are able to become the best version of YOU. Beautiful, Unique, & Powerful You.

I have pretty much covered what finding myself means to me, in the other parts of my article. It’s definitely consciously doing the work DAILY, making progress little by little. Some days, you just have to make it to the next. Some days you’re 100% genuine & you are proud of the person you are.

You are important and you need to see it in the way that those who love you see it. You need to love yourself the way you needed love as a kid.

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There you have it! I am very much thankful for Ashley, she’s one amazing woman and blogger you should follow. She has such real writing and musings about her life. Please follow her Facebook Page and support her local clothing!

What are your thoughts about finding yourself? Do you also see this as a meaningful journey that can help you in different ways? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

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49 Comments

  • clairelomax2018

    I needed this post today!! Honestly this has really spoken to me. Next year I really need to focus on me, find the person I once was. Thank you so much for sharing and inspiring. This is such an important message x

    • Elle

      Hey, Claire, I’m so glad this post spoke to you and you found this very insightful. I do hope you return to it once you’ve decided to take on this journey next year! I hope you do well. 🙂 Much love, Elle. x

  • Lindsey

    I’ve had a few changes in my life recently and it has been making me really think about who I am and what I want. This is such an inspiring post and definitely making me realise that I need to spend some time just figuring things out rather than going through the motions. Great post, thank you!

    • Elle

      Major changes in life can really bring you setbacks and can get you thinking, “Is this what I really want?” But I think there’s no need for any shifting or getting away from a lot of things. Do what you finally want like Julia Roberts from the movie. You just keep doing you, keep on track and eventually you’ll be where you really want to be. :> I can tell you’re realization from this post is a great start. Thank you so much for sharing, Lindsey! Lovely. x

  • Robin

    This is a wonderful summation of the importance of being present in your own life. It takes vigilance to keep from living life on autopilot!

    • Elle

      I agree with you, Robin! A life with full of intentions means that you are in control and that you are aware of what you do to make your life better. :)) Lovely! Thank you! x

  • Della Driscoll

    This post is so important! I think once we’re able to find ourselves and figure out what our heart truly desires, we will automatically begin to lead a life that is for us, rather than what people are telling us to do. Loved reading this xx

    • Elle

      Exactly, you couldn’t say it any better. When we know who we are and what we want, and what we’re here for, we lead on a meaningful life where we’re the ones in control. 🙂 Thank you Della! I’m glad you loved this. x

  • carriepankratz

    I really started to find myself in my 40’s. It’s amazing what wisdom comes with age. I naturally started to care less about other people’s opinions and was better able to figure out who I was. As the people pleaser that I always was, it’s easy to morf into the person you assume people want you to be. Great post.

    • Elle

      I agree with you, it’s easier to conform than explain to people that we’re different, but we’re always unique and incredible and I’m glad you found this, I believe it’s just the right time. No one’s ever late for these kinds of stuff. When you’re ready to change, you change. 🙂 You’re amazing, Carrie, thanks for sharing your wisdom. x

    • Elle

      Gabriela, thank you for appreciating this post. It’s amazing to imagine what this success would do to us and our love for ourselves. 🙂 x

  • desertflower5

    Wow such a amazing inspiring blog… Loved it Ellie. Seriously I agree with you.. We all are trying to find ourselves, understand ourselves and some of is are lost… All we need is a little introspect…
    Good day😊

    • Elle

      Thank you, Kelly! Yes, it’s quite an important topic one must figure out at least once in their life. I can tell this personal journey involves a lot of changes but a lot of growth too. x

    • Elle

      Oh, thank you so much, Shelly! Yes, we’re kind of a little confused determining who we are, and we’re a lot more focused on the qualities that we don’t have as a person. It’s easier for us to say, “I don’t know actually what I want but I’m sure I’m not the type to do like this.. or I’m not like that…” 🙂 Thanks for sharing this, Shelly! xo

  • Jameela

    Finding yourself is never an easy straight shooter answer.. I do love that movie though it always comes to mind when someone says that they need to find themselves. I also agree apart of it is finding out what you don’t like. This was a great read thanks for sharing.

    • Elle

      Exactly, it isn’t. It’s like everything like a system of things that make you “you”. I do love Eat Pray Love too, thank you so much for being here and for sharing your thoughts, Jameela. 🙂 x

  • aseger6

    I definitely need to see this post today! It was so helpful and really opened my eyes to the whole concept. The amount of benefits you listed was amazing. Thanks for writing this!

    • Elle

      I’m glad you found this post very insightful! This just made my day. 😀 Thank you so much for being here, have a great day! x

  • brittshedhappens

    I love everything about this! This year has been crazy, with so many twists, turns, and changes. While I have been disappointed by the number of things that have been cancelled, it gave me a chance to take a step back and focus on finding myself. I had been hiding behind being ‘busy’ for far too long. I suppose that’s the one big positive that is coming out of all of this in my life.

    • Elle

      I’m glad you loved this, Britt! I agree with you, this year has been very out of hand. But surely we have those silver linings that we call, and I believe you found yours. I hope the rest of the year goes well for you and your family… and your dogs! Much love, xx

  • Jaya Avendel

    I still remember Eat. Pray. Love, even though I read the book and watched the movie years ago. It is so easy to be lost to ourselves and not even know it, so I love that this writing has been put out there if only to serve as a wake-up call to people who want to get back in touch with themselves.

    Finding myself is a constant journey. I have to stay in touch with myself because I am constantly moving. 🙂

    • Elle

      I loved it, the message of the story. It may be unusual for some people as they don’t understand Julia in the movie. And so being able to lose yourself is sometimes an underlying personal problem, not everyone will think that it’s necessary unlike our financial problems. I agree with everything that you said, Jaya. Thank you so much for being here. 🙂 x

  • Juliette

    Super interestin post, Elle! Finding yourself is incredibly important (and hard), but I think it is necessary in order to grow. I have started this journey thanks to a great Youtube channel and now self-discovery is to me finding your values (I revisit mine often) and setting boundaries – and so much more. 😊

    • Elle

      Hey, Juliette! I’m glad you are here! I agree with you, sometimes finding yourself is revisiting or remembering your values too because in time we forget pieces of who we are, and I think it’s a good way to anchor ourselves from our identity. Thank you so much, I’m glad you related to this post! Have an awesome week ahead! xx

    • Elle

      I absutely agree with you and I hope it does bring you major changes, Margarida. 😊✨ I hope you get your answers. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, I wish you all the best too! xx

  • Clarissa

    I have recently been on my own self discovery journey. I love the point about unlearning things. I think people get lost when they try to live up to other people’s expectations of them rather than their own expectations. I know that has happened to me in the past. Thanks for this thoughtful post!

    • Elle

      I agree with you, sometimes we actually lose ourselves more because these things happen. It’s good that things can be better even for us. 😊 Thanks for stopping by, Clarissa! xx

I would love to hear your thoughts!

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