Negative Vibes Can Ruin Relationships and Your Life

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Negativism is perceived as something like a black hole humans fall into. Like falling into a deep black emptiness, except that this “emptiness” is not really empty but filled with negative thoughts. It corrupts everything we feel.

Little do we know, that letting this type of aura stay into our body affects our lives. Now the thing is, usually our defense mechanism would be to avoid these emotions or turn away from them.

We try to divert our energy into good things, but negativism is cumulative. The more we ignore it, the more we develop these unhealthy defense traits that are manifested by our actions towards our surroundings and to other people. These emotions can be destructive or self-destructive if we don’t learn how to manage them well.

Let’s exemplify one emotion to represent negativism in our lives– Anger.

For many people, it is hard to avoid feeling angry. Anger is a dangerous emotion a human could feel. In Buddhism, it is believed that anger is the most destructive among Kleshas.

What this emotion can do to your body and mind is it could shut you down, go into a complete blackout, and outburst. So the question is: What can we do with this emotion every time we feel it occur?

Mindfulness is the practice of simply being aware.

One of its practices is watching your feelings and actions intimately. Like going into a state of observation, an eagle-eye view of yourself, where you are aware of the thoughts in your mind and the things you feel inside. I find it extremely beneficial as an instrument during hard times.

Mindfulness depicts anger as a poisonous root of a beautiful tree rather than an inescapable black hole. The difference is that this type of spiritual practice offers a systematic flow of the things humans feel. Our emotions should not be kept and held, we’re supposed to be freed from it.

It starts by acknowledging your anger.

Humans cannot avoid these things. As long as we have consciousness, we will repetitively feel these patterns of an emotional surge. Now what we want to do is identify them, accepting that they exist in our lives because it’s what makes us human. It’s like tracing that feeling down to its origin and realizing that “Oh, okay, this is what I feel right now.”

Learn how to channel your feelings.

Identifying these patterns and being aware of its systematic pathway– that it exists, peaks, goes down, and goes away. These mental states are not meant to last. You may think of it as having a stomach ache.

You just want to watch that feeling bloom inside your mind and wait for it to go away. Don’t let yourself react to that negative aura because it heightens that specific emotion.

Let it go.

Mindfulness describes these emotions as physically occurring things you can be aware of any time and not letting it affect you. There is a concept that is called, “Labeling or Noting.” It helps humans detach themselves from these emotions easily.

Think of it like greeting someone you know while walking down the street. You can label your emotions in a lot of ways but one method I find effective is the “Useful/Not Useful” technique. What happens is that you identify your emotion by saying it or writing it down (however you want to do it), in our case– anger, and then label it as useful or not useful.

Once that you know that this certain feeling is not useful, you’ll have the ability not to dwell on it– like freeing yourself from that anger and knowing that it will go away because it does not have the power to control you anymore.

Our emotions don’t often come one by one, sometimes they come all at once and as different colors, or warmth, coldness, smell; we have to understand that this interconnection of the mental state exists but all it does is distract us from being in control.

And once it does, our normal mornings could be hell, conversations could turn into a fight, relationships scarred, bad habits occur– a domino effect of negativism. Learn to give time for yourself and your emotions because there’s no harm in trying, there’s only peace.

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