Unpopular Opinions

Unpopular Opinion #10

Unpopular Opinion: 2020 officially sucks.

I have been on a fucking rough patch, ladies and gentlemen. These past days have been so hard for me to overcome. It’s been literally six days that I haven’t figured out the next thing to do in my life. Six days I have been stagnant, felt stuck on a dark day that repeats again and again every time I wake up. Anxious for all reasons or no reason at all, internally panicking while externally being passive, and not knowing exactly how I feel. Ever since my MPJ Entry 2 I tried to endure the next coming days and yes, I was okay for awhile, but now I don’t even know how to get back up.

My family and I have lost 4 dogs in a span of six days–2 of them had gone just today, and the 5 little ones, I prefer to say recovering here at home with an intravenous treatment attached to their petite forelimbs. Canine parvovirus is a serious disease of dogs in early ages. I have watched two of my dogs pass away on my watch and I feel so useless considering that this is supposed to be what I’ll do when I graduate but now, I just feel hopelessness and so much disappointment in myself. I have seen my mama cry and my siblings too, quietly.

My heart aches. I haven’t been sleeping well because every now and then we check on them, I haven’t had the time to study well for my classes, to go back on my routine, to eat well and on time, had to suck up to my papa‘s mentally agonizing words last night and controlling myself from being on the verge of an outburst but ended up crying because apparently, I’m too tired to dispute.

All of this while living in a country taunted by the fear of having a martial law declaration, injustices, fellow kababayans who continuously fight against Terror Bill implementation, being under a pandemic situation that seems to be going on for too long–giving birth to the words “new normal in 2020”, and the battle against racism all in all feels like I have been living my days too fast and too senseless without ever having to start or finish something. This year has been shaking all of humanity down in every unbelievably possible way it can. Again, I say, my heart aches.

It’s just all been really hard for me to keep both oars in the water. It seems though that we feel each day as becoming more and more comfortless. Still, despite of all the things we currently go through with our family, ourselves, every silent battle, every protest, every voice unheard, and all the things we continue to bear with and surmount, we must outlive each day.

I shall end this with an uplifting quote for all of those powering through.

With all the love,


Elle, Unpopular Opinions

0 Comments

  • Maggie

    I’m so sorry Elle 😞❤️ *hugs* I know words probably won’t do much right now… and I agree, 2020 sucks on a worldwide level and a personal level, too.

    • Elle

      Thank u so much Maggie, it means a lot honestly. I admire you always staying positive throughout ❤ sending hugs to you too and your family. Hopefully we all be okay. 😔😊❤

    • Maggie

      Aw you’re welcome 🥰 knowing we can depend on each other says more than words can 💜 thank you xx I know we’ll get through this – it’s not the end ❤️

  • PoojaG

    I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling this way and about your dogs. That’s a very tough thing to go through. 2020 has probably been the worst year for a lot of people but we just have to remember that bad things don’t last forever and that at some point it will get better.

  • Kitty Jade

    I’m so sorry you’ve had a rough year. We’ve all been in a hard spot, but I try to keep positive. I’m not in the worst situation. I have clean water, my blog, family + food. We’ll look back on 2020 and be so strong once we’ve emerged out of the other side. Thank you for getting it off your chest – I’m sure it will have helped your mental health and possibly someone else’s.

    • Elle

      Writing this and getting it off my chest was absolutely helpful because here in our house we don’t usually speak and comfort each other (not in a really bad way tho), so this was really a need for my mental health. I agree with you, we will all look back in this year and we are gonna learn from it, and be wiser because of it. Thank you for this wonderful message, Kitty. <3

    • Kitty Jade

      I’m glad you could vent it out in some way. I hope you continue to use writing by means of therapy! Although I don’t have patience to sit with a notebook and journal, I find my blog an easy way to get stuff off my chest (even if I don’t publish it) You are very welcome <3

  • Nath

    Hi Elle! I’m sorry to hear that you went through this. We’re halfway through the year and a lot of bad things keep on happening. I’ve also been gone for a week because I got mad, stressed out, and all that. Let’s still hope for better days. I know I’m late for this but just know that you are not alone in this and remember that everything will be okay in the end.

    • Elle

      Yes, I agree, life in 2020 just keeps bringing everybody down but we will surely come through with this, I mean every one :)) Even you! Gosh, I’m glad you’re here now because I haven’t heard from you too, these past days. I’m sorry to hear that you were stressed too but I hope you’re okay now. Yes, you guys and the community really helped me so thank you for this, Nath! <3 🙂

    • Nath

      Yes, I’m okay now and I’m also glad that you’re okay and back! 💖 Yay! Going back to blogging is the best thing I’ve ever done this year because of this community and I’m glad I met you! 😁

    • Elle

      Honestly, me too! I love blogging now more than before because I met supportive people here–which totally includes you. <3 😀

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